The Day After the Dream: Why Quitting Feels Safer (But Isn’t)
When you look back on the dream, you saw only yesterday and the firm resolution you made.
The joy that filled your heart as you spoke that promise to yourself.
“I will never give up!” You declared with overflowing confidence.
You figured it all out, having that mountain-moving determination and faith.
You were sure of it.
Your life will change for the better now.
The sun set.
Dawn broke.
It has been a day.
Just one day.
And you already feel tired.
You are interrogating yourself as a detective would a suspect.
“Could I have spoken too soon?”
“Would I have been influenced to think that this lofty goal was attainable?
“Shouldn’t I just acknowledge my foolishness and continue with life as it were?”
There’s no doubt that you want this new life. It guaranteed your desired future.
It was the dream.
Yet here we were.
You are tired but have to keep going.
There is nothing in your past that is worth returning to.
If you look around, many have pitched a tent in their past with no reason to ever want to leave.
They speak of the devil you know being a better bedfellow than the angel you don’t know.
So they eat with the devil and endure a pitiable existence.
Sometimes, I have these crazy thoughts.
They concern fruits and foods.
How did our ancestors determine what was safe to eat and what was not?
Let’s imagine they discover a new fruit.
Did they just eat it? If they died, cool.
Otherwise, it was good to eat.
The more I think of these things, the more I realise that over the many thousands or millions of years humans have walked the earth, so many risks and sacrifices were made to bring us the quality of life that we have.
How are we now so scared to take simple risks that could ultimately improve our lives?
If ever you find yourself in this circumstance, here are three things that might help.
First, find and attach yourself to a mentor.
Mentors are so important because they have already done whatever you struggle with.
They have gone on that journey and conquered.
They have a pretty good idea how to help you succeed. They have a proven method and more that you can take advantage of to reach your goal faster.
People who look down on mentoring opportunities have no idea what good stuff they are missing out on.
Care must be taken to find the right one.
Specifically, one who has excelled in the area you are trying to break into. Be sure not to engage a surgeon as a mentor when your goal is to become an accountant.
Second, get a accounability partner.
Your accountability partner is someone you share with.
They are accessible to you, and you learn from and support one another.
Accountability partners work best when you both share the same mentor or are attending the same programs.
You are co-mentoring each other within your limited capacities.
If your accountability partner is someone you have no respect for and will not listen to. You might be better off without one.
Third, Brave it, damn the consequences.
This, I think, is my best of all three.
The reason is that my supervisor used to say to me.
“The Lion either eats the man or the man eats the lion”.
I choose to take the bull by the horns and eventually eat the lion.
One question I love to ask is, ‘What’s the worst that can happen?”
In my experience, the failure we experience in our quest to be better is never worse than where we already were.
