A young finance officer in Lagos once told me she had worked for her director for two years and never received a single piece of feedback. Not praise. Not correction. Nothing. Then one morning she was told her performance was poor. She was shocked. She was also angry. Who could blame her?
That silence is common in nonprofits. Leaders are busy, tired and afraid of conflict. But if you want to know how to give feedback to staff in a way that builds your team, you must break that silence. Let’s dig in. Shall we?
Why Feedback Feels Hard in Our Context
In many African workplaces, we grew up respecting elders and avoiding open confrontation. Correcting someone feels rude. Praising someone feels unnecessary, because the work is simply their job. So leaders say nothing and hope things improve.
They rarely do. Small problems grow. Good staff leave without knowing how they were seen. Weak performers carry on without a chance to improve. Everyone loses, and the mission suffers most.
The answer is not to become harsh. The answer is to become clear and kind at the same time. These two things are not opposites.
Give Feedback Early and Often
The biggest mistake is saving everything for the annual review. By then, the moment has passed. The staff member cannot remember the event, and you cannot remember the details either.
Give feedback within a few days of the event. Keep it short. A five minute conversation after a meeting is enough. Make it normal, so no one panics when you ask to speak with them. If feedback only comes when something is wrong, people will fear every invitation.
Use a Simple Structure You Can Remember
When emotions are high, a simple structure keeps you steady. Use these four steps.
- Describe the situation. When and where did it happen?
- Describe the behaviour. What exactly did you see or hear?
- Explain the impact. What effect did it have on the team, the donor or the project?
- Agree the next step. What will change, and how will you support it?
Here is an example. In Tuesday’s donor call, you gave the budget figures from memory and two numbers were wrong. The donor asked for a corrected sheet, and it delayed the approval by a week. Next time, let’s check the figures together before the call. Notice that nothing in this feedback attacks the person. It describes facts and moves to a solution.
Focus on Behaviour, Not Character
Saying you are careless attacks identity. Saying the report had three errors describes behaviour. People can change behaviour. They tend to defend their identity.
Avoid words like always and never. They make the other person feel judged unfairly, and then they stop listening. Stick to specific events you can name.
Praise Is Feedback Too
Many leaders only speak up when something goes wrong. That teaches staff to expect bad news. Praise specific work, and do it publicly when appropriate.
Skip vague comments like good job. Say what was good and why it mattered. Your field report helped the donor see the real change in the community, and it made our renewal easier. That sentence tells the person what to repeat. It also shows you pay attention.
Choose the Right Place and Time
Praise can happen in public. Correction should happen in private. Never embarrass someone in front of colleagues. In our culture, public shame carries a heavy cost, and it can damage trust for years.
Pick a calm moment. Do not give difficult feedback when you are angry or when the person is rushing to a deadline. Say something like, I would like to talk about the report when you have ten minutes. Is this afternoon good for you? That respect makes a hard conversation easier.
Listen More Than You Speak
Feedback is a conversation, not a lecture. After you share your view, ask a question. How did that feel from your side? What got in the way?
Sometimes you will learn that the problem was not the person. A missing tool. An unclear instruction. A workload that no human could finish. If you do not listen, you will correct the wrong thing.
Handle Defensiveness Calmly
Some people will push back, go quiet or become emotional. This is normal. Do not argue in the moment. Stay calm and repeat the facts. If needed, say, Let’s pause and meet again tomorrow. Give them time to think.
Remember that your own tone sets the temperature. If you stay steady, the conversation usually settles.
Follow Up
Feedback without follow up is just talk. A week later, check in. Notice improvement and say so. If the issue continues, have a second conversation with clearer expectations and write down what was agreed.
Document serious performance conversations briefly. Keep it factual. This protects both you and the staff member, and it helps if the situation needs formal action later.
Build a Feedback Culture, Not Just a Feedback Habit
The strongest teams do not wait for the leader. They give feedback to each other. You can build this by asking for feedback yourself. At your next team meeting, ask, What is one thing I could do better to support you? Then listen without defending yourself.
When staff see that you accept feedback with grace, they will believe it is safe to speak. Over time, silence gives way to honest, respectful conversation.
Lead Without Fear of Speaking Up
Many leaders carry a quiet fear of saying the hard thing. If that sounds like you, my free book The Silenced Leader was written for exactly that struggle. Get your free copy here. If you want help building a stronger leadership team, explore my leadership training and consulting or reach out directly.